The Ugly Phase ...
- And The Fight With My Inner Critic
Maybe you know the inner voice that tend to hold you back, every time you engage in something new? This internal critiques that ultimately are afraid of losing control, being a fool, ridiculed or otherwise harmed.
In a misguided considerations it goes a long way to stop you. It sets as a straitjacket, which may be difficult to extricate from. It requires a lot of good energy to let it go, because it often is so convincing in its arguments.
The Fear Of The White Paper
When I a few years ago started painting, I was initially afraid of the white paper. My inner critic was alert and tried to convince me of my poor abilities.
Argh stop, do not do it, you still can not paint something that's worth showing to anyone, it cried with a shrill voice.
I looked at the drawing I made so far and thought to my self, that my inner critiques sadly enough was right. That got my inner critic to jump enthuastic up and down of having caused me to give up.
Just look at it, The Inner Critic said and contiued: The eyes are not equal. They have nothing to do with reality ... it is never gonna be of any worth. Stop before it is obvious to everyone how silly you are to paint.
I put on my headphones and listend to some audio books while I continued to paint. I got into a meditative state that made my inner critic fall fast asleep.
Remember tips to me and myself:
- Your inner critic let go when you remind it that there always comes a phase in which the painting is ugly - the ugly phase.
- You just have to contiue and keep on the good work.
- Let it all be a breeze. There's nothing to be afraid of.
- If you don't draw a line on the paper, it will continue to be blank.
- It does not matter whether others like what you're doing, as long as you are happy and are enjoying the process.
Feel free to borrow my tips ...